Wedding Meltdown Number 1

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So I am ten and a bit months away from the Grand Event (or Wedding of the Year - both are interchangable terms) and I've cracked the sads over three developments that have, er, developed in relation to my wedding and one that is overall. I'm going to share because they have surprisingly upset me quite a bit. Shall change the names to protect the innocent but as this blog is for me to talk about the wedding I'll talk about them here.
OK, well here goes:
1. The engagement party.
It is true that the Man and me have not organised a swanky cocktail party/buffet/twelve course degustation dinner at the Waldorf Astoria. We were going to do it in November last year but people were too busy, so now we are combining our engagement party with a housewarming so people can check out our new house, but people are not coming. So far seven people have said they'll come, and six of those are family, with my bestie from Melb... I mean, er... Brisbane confirming that she'll come. Have invited thirty people, and seven will come. Poor show. And what does this indicate for when the wedding rolls around - that people will wait for a better offer before RSVPing? Or that they won't bother coming at all? I am racking my brains to find a way to make the Wedding of the Year interesting enough to travel for. I mean, for the engagement party we COULD have hired a function centre and had 200 people there, and had it catered and all the jazz, but we didn't want to. And I (probably the Man was told too) that you don't make a fuss if you already live with your partner, and already have kids (of which we have one). We don't want presents, we just want the opportunity to celebrate with people. And as no one else has thought to throw us a party to celebrate that finally the Man proposed to me after over a year of hounding by everyone, we decided we'd do it ourselves, and even saving the travel effort of our guests by combining it with a housewarming, but so far the general consensus is a big Who Cares.
2. The Dress
This is a quick one. I asked a friend who is a dressmaker to make my dress as I can't find anything that I can try on, let alone that I like and she suggested for cost reasons that I look for my dress on the internet. She probably means well, but if I could find my dress anywhere I'd buy it, but I can't buy it.
3. Miscellaneous
Was going to have three bridesmaids, but now because of family drama I am probably having just two, and even then, I am not sure that I will have two bridesmaids by the time the wedding rolls around.
I know we are all busy but I think I have seen one of the bridesmaids only once in the last three months just because she is busy with her job, and I am busy with the Bub. I mean, the onyl way I talk to her is via Twitter, or Facebook, and even so she says she'll *probably* come to the housewarming slash engagement depending on whether her husband's made other plans. I think of all the sads I have cracked in the last few days this is the biggest sad of all. I just don't understand. When I have been a bridesmaid (once during exam time, and once shortly after the Bub was born) I tried my hardest to help out with the weddings I was involved in - but I am not getting the feeling that people want to help me and it makes me very upset.
4. The overall feeling that no one really cares
It is fair to say that The Man likes to keep things close to his chest. And because of this people have learnt not to push us for wedding details - but so far there were no details TO discuss. But at the moment there are two weddings in the family, and I think everyone has wedding overload and so when I bring up the topic of our impending nuptials, no one cares. Basically that's it. No one cares. Sad hey? If no one cares, I am so ready to pack The Man, The Bub and me up and eloping.
That's not a threat, it's a promise if the current climate of CBF continues.

PANIC! (nah, not really)

Let's visit my guru in wedding preparation, The Knot. They helpfully send me an email every so often with suggestions of where I should be in my wedding planning. Some of the items listed below even had alarm clocks to emphasise to me how important it is that I do them NOW!

Begin envisioning your wedding (I am imagining this being said in a calm sing-song voice, with incense in an oil burner and whale-song on in the background) --- formal hotel or friend's loft? Backyard barbecue or exotic beach?

1. Decide on a budget and hash out who's contributing.
Knot Hint: For a quick and easy way to determine a budget, use The Knot Budgeter. 
The man and I just purchased a house, and in all the thrashing out of budgets etc to pay for things like Rates, and Insurance, and Water, I sort of forgot to mention that at some point we have to pay for the wedding. Ooops. I suppose you could say that currently out wedding budget is $100 which is how much is in my bank account at the moment.
2. Make sure to insure your engagement ring.
Done! In all this arranging of Insurance business for the new house, I listed my engagement ring as a portable valuable so if someone comes and steals it I will be able to replace it (not that I want to replace it because I like the one that I have).

3. Pick your preferences for a wedding date and time, and finalize after okaying with important guests, location, or officiant.
All sorted because I decided (notice the 'I' and not 'we') that if I couldn't have a cool wedding date like 10/10/10 or 11/11/11, I would have one that repeated itself - 12/01/2012 (12012012) - cool hey? As its on the tail end of wedding season (have a mental image of brides running around the bush and people in cams shooting at them), everything seems to be available *fingers crossed*.

4. Begin interviewing wedding consultants (if you'll have one) AND / OR start asking family AND friends FOR local wedding vendor recommendations.
We aren't having a wedding consultant because to me it smacks of spending more money than we have - I aim to be a budget savvy bride and want to do as much as I can myself to save money.
Regarding asking family and friends for suggestions - all my family live far away, and I don't know anyone who have gotten married in the town where we're doing our wedding. Plus all the family have lost interest in our wedding, except for one or two of the ladies, but really - nobody seems to really care! So we have figured out stuff for ourselves.

5. Brides: It's never too early to begin thinking about your gown. Start by figuring out what style will look best on you.
I posted about dress dramas a few weeks ago. I am fairly sure that I know what sort of dress I want to have and I have lined up a friend to make it for me if she will agree to do it. All can tell you so far however is that it will not be foofy (ignore definition #1) and it will not be strapless especially because recently I went to a family dinner and my maxi-dress (gifted to me by another mummy friend) fell off revealing my nanna bra to my future brother-in-law.
Embarrassing. To. The. Max.
And I'd imagine my undies on my wedding day might be more revealing than a nanna bra so I really don't want that for myself, or for anyone else.
But if anyone has some kind of dress generator that they can direct me to so I can get some ideas of other gowns that I might like, that'd be cool too.

6. Start interviewing caterers.
I did email some caterers to ask them if they could do what we wanted for the wedding meal. We specifically want it a certain way, and are striking some opposition about it, but that is the next thing that the man and I plan to do once the moving into a new house and Christmas and New Years is over. Also a bit tricky because we are getting hitched in a smallish town, there are less options for people to cater the wedding. 
**What is it meant to be called anyway? Wedding dinner sounds too mediocre. Wedding feast sounds like people will walk in with a boar on a spit with an apple in its mouth. Wedding meal? Wedding... oh I get it. The correct word is reception.

7. Scout out reception sites.
Already done. The reception venue (the original one, not the one that the man threw in as a red herring when we visited Maldon) is A-MA-ZING. We have a tentative booking for it, and all we need to do is go and sign some paperwork to lock it in. Only problem is that we have to have a plan of how we want to set up the tables, and we can't do that until we figure out who's invited which varies between 50 and 100 people depending on the day because I have ever so many friends and relatives and workmates.
Either way, the reception venue has been decided.

8. Start looking for an officiant who suits your style and spirit.
My lovely friend Coral has agreed to* be the celebrant and has given me a fantastic discount on her services. Yeah! She lives in the Yarra Ranges so if you're looking for a celebrant for your wedding...
*I had to think of the right word here - celebrate? Coral is going to celebrate our wedding? Hmm.

9. Book your reception site as soon as you see something you love that’s available on your date.
Solvered. See point 7.

10. If you're having an engagement party, set a date, draft a guest list, and purchase your invitations.
Still not decided on whether there will BE an engagement party. How about I do a poll? Go here to my Facebook page and give me your opinion.

11. Get organized! Start a notebook/file folder to house all your wedding-planning paperwork in one place.
I do have a folder and dividers and plastic pockets and paper, but I haven't put any of it together. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I will do that once we've moved house or else I'll end up losing everything in it, or it will fall into the wrong hands and then chaos will ensue.

12. Begin working on a preliminary wedding guest list and decide on your wedding's approximate size.
Yeah that. The biggest problem so far is deciding who to invite and who to not invite. Luckily for my budget, a few of my high school friends have decided to blacklist me, so I will not be obliged to invite them to my wedding. The man has pretty firm ideas of who he wants to invite, and who he doesn't want, but then he started a new job so I expect the majority of his workmates will get a guernsey at the wedding. Which is good because I like the people he works with, but bad because the guest list is approaching triple figures again, even with the high school friends cull.

13. Request lists from both sets of parents and create your own wish list.
Not sure what sort of wish list we are going for here? I'll get back to you on that one.

14. Choose your bridesmaids/groomsmen and ask them to be in the wedding party.
I have chosen my wedding party people. The man has not. He decided one way, and then decided a different way and now who knows who he's chosen. I did point out to him he needs to give whoever it is that he picked some sort of notice that they are needed in the wedding. We'll see if he took any notice of me!

15. Hire a consultant (if you're having one) and sign a contract.
Not having a consultant because I am cheap (or budget-conscious) and proud to be that way.

16. Find a ceremony site if one hasn't been determined by your choice of officiant or reception site.
The ceremony site was the first thing we picked, and last weekend we went along to it to see what it was like at this time of year. It was awesome, and there were ducks so all will be good with the ceremony as long as we have someone standing by to catch bub as she runs after the ducks and into the water in her wedding flowergirl finery. Although, she does know how to swim - or at least not drown - so that might be a bit funny. But you didn't hear me say that.

17. Contact newspapers to announce your engagement (you may need to have an engagement photo taken as well).
Hello Bendigo Advertiser? I'm getting married....
Er, not sure if that will be neccesary... perhaps though we might try to get our wedding pictures in the Herald Sun - that'd be pretty cool after years of checking out the weddings, I, I mean, we could be in there too.

So of 17 things we are meant to have done, we've achieved 9.5 of them with a strike rate of 55%. I am guessing this is not very good?
Hmmm.